One of the changes that I have implemented in the last few months was to start meeting with a counselor. Though learning about the fibromyalgia and dealing with my weight are tough, they are really only the symptoms of under lying trauma that I never really dealt with.
My counselor had me complete an exercise in which I listed my top ten best and ten worst memories. I had honestly never put a lot of thought into ranking my memories, but as I did so, I began to find the experience very enlightening.
When we reviewed the memories together the counselor made some interesting observations. First of both my positive and negative memories, I had a tendency to group experiences. Examples: adopting my dogs, good and bad interactions with my ex husband, and passing exams. Secondly none of my positive memories pointed to an individual that I look up to.
We haven't gotten into yet what all of this means, but to me it said that I really like to repeat stuff that I enjoy, that I have a tendency to be too patient with things I don't like and I let them continue to happen to me, and that I still feel alone in the world.
The hardest one to face is feeling alone in the world, because the rational side of me knows better. I know that I am loved and treasured by many wonderful people in my life. Yet my brain and heart still will not fully accept this. This is an issue that I really hope that the counseling will help me to resolve. I want to fully be able to accept the love that my friends and family give me.
My counselor had me complete an exercise in which I listed my top ten best and ten worst memories. I had honestly never put a lot of thought into ranking my memories, but as I did so, I began to find the experience very enlightening.
When we reviewed the memories together the counselor made some interesting observations. First of both my positive and negative memories, I had a tendency to group experiences. Examples: adopting my dogs, good and bad interactions with my ex husband, and passing exams. Secondly none of my positive memories pointed to an individual that I look up to.
We haven't gotten into yet what all of this means, but to me it said that I really like to repeat stuff that I enjoy, that I have a tendency to be too patient with things I don't like and I let them continue to happen to me, and that I still feel alone in the world.
The hardest one to face is feeling alone in the world, because the rational side of me knows better. I know that I am loved and treasured by many wonderful people in my life. Yet my brain and heart still will not fully accept this. This is an issue that I really hope that the counseling will help me to resolve. I want to fully be able to accept the love that my friends and family give me.
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