Music - The Dusty Talent on the Shelf

During the last three months of renovating my life, I have spent a lot of time reflecting on things that I used to do that I sacrificed to make room for other priorities.  Well at least things that I thought should have a higher priority.

One of those things was my musical talent.  Over the years, I have continued to sing in church and occasionally in choir, but I would rarely practice the piano and only took the guitar lessons for a short time period despite making good progress during my lessons.  Mostly, I would put these things aside because though my spouse initially supported my efforts eventually they interfered with his comfort or my ability to take care of him, which of course made him grumpy and upset.  Instead of standing up for myself, I would stop focusing on my musical skills to "work on our relationship".  These were probably some of the most self destructive times in my life.

I still have a lot of anxiety about performing, and I am hoping that the therapy I am doing with my counselor will help me to work through that, as ultimately it is all tied back to my negative shelf talk. 

I do know how to read music, and I know some music technique and theory.  I believe that I have a talent in music, and I hope that with practice I will become more comfortable with sharing it.  I know how it feels to share my voice in a choir, and I know that I want to have the same experience with the piano and the guitar.  I guess what I need to figure out is how not to give up on myself down the road as I start to hit the road blocks. 

What I would really like to do is establish some goals and rewards for myself connected to this particular talent.  I would like the rewards to not be related to food, as I am really striving to get away from that concept.  I would like the goal to be something that requires me to put myself out there.  Suggestions are welcome.